Long Live Comedy: 04/06/13

Stephen 'Friz' Frizzle here with a report about the night of comedy that is Long Live. What a great turn out! About thirty people piled into the tiny attic above the Dog and Parrot to watch a night of comedy. We started ransacking chairs and stools from various cupboards to construct an impromptu couple of back rows. With that, the night began! I provided vaguely-related songs between the acts and attempted to keep the night together. But the line-up was outstanding.

Kicking off the night was Hebburn's Steffen Peddie with some new stuff. A top ten countdown of why The EDL should never have entered Newcastle entertained the audience. Steffen brought along his friend, newcomer Steve Halcyon, whose set went down a treat. His presence on stage as the confident friendly bear that he is captivated the room, and his presentation of jokes could easily be compared to those who had been in the business for year. It was impressive that it was his first ever attempt at stand-up. Definitely one to keep an eye on. Paul Gerrard followed with a good twenty-or-so jokes about paying for sex. This act was closed by Tim Strange, whose Canadian antics are always a treat to watch.

In the interval, a couple in the audience approached me with a request:

"Will there be any old school comedians?"

"Excuse me?", I said

"You know... Tommy Cooper"

"I honestly don't think Tommy Cooper will be here"

"We don't want Jimmy Carr or anything"

"... I honestly don't think Jimmy Carr will be here"

With the interval out the way, it was time to start Act 2. The Irish brogue of newcomer Chris Arbuthnot was a joy to watch. Lauren Pattison took the reigns afterwards, which was refreshing after five well built men on the stage, with her foirees into the single life and cheese rants. You rarely get cheese rants nowadays in comedy.

Manchester's Calvin Fieldhouse also decided to debut his first step into comedy at this night's Long Live. Telling stories about blowjobs and masturbation, it was definitely something that happened. Sean Turner followed with some new material, and had a delightful moment when an audience member heckled something genuinely funny. 

Closing the night was Luke Milford, finishing on his chat show where he managed to convince someone that Fred West was the man who made the tuna, and ended up dancing on stage in a singlet to the tune of Rolling Stones' "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction". In the words of Captain McAllister, that's going to replace the whale in my nightmares.

A great, fun and relatively cheap night of comedy. 

Small crowd-Lots of Energy, Christian Friendly Comedy, Surprise Act! 02/04/2013

What can someone expect for turnout on a Tuesday following a Bank Holiday weekend when the football was also on? Not much. Long Live Comedy audiences have however often surprised us with really unexpected numbers. Well, tonight was not one of these nights.

George Zach went on stage playing to a small crowd in what looked to be slightly awkward but turned out to be surprisingly fun. When the numbers are small it is best to try not to offend anyone and he did just that. He instead explained what the night is about and went on to grab his mobile phone and go through notes to see what will stick. Turns out a few things did, with a long shambolic rant about Judas and Sodoma and Carlisle standing out in particular and with that he brought the first act on stage.

Blythe Loxley is no stranger to the gig and the oddball character comedian was once again giving us her oddball take on the world, discussing how unattractive she is in a constant rant. Maybe too early in the set but the audience warmed up to her and overall a nice start to the evening.

Second up was Richard Ross, discussing a few things that I really should have kept some notes about. He did well but this blogger has totally forgotten. I blame John Scott who had just walked in.

Third up was Graham Milton. He did some pretty intelligent stuff that went down well with the crowd, showed a lot of promise and brought the first section to an end in style.

Dave Smith was first in the second section. Dave spoke about having a little child that he isnt ready for sometimes and watching a lot of TV that pisses him off, including some rude stuff. He is still learning but he is picking up things fast and it was good to see him try new bits. Good start to the next section.

John Scott took to the stage next, with admittedly not the best of introductions. He spoke about pregnancies, politics, his missus and some more politics. He did well, he seemed to enjoy himself a lot and the audience liked him too. It is always a joy when a professional heads down to try new stuff and it is even better when the stuff hits the mark.

Last one was Liam Elcoat. Liam went on to basically dissect one of Lenny Henry's jokes in detail before taking us through the original Holiday Inn commercial where Lenny Henry had a little duck. I don't think Liam likes Lenny Henry. It is fair to say he lost some people. He hadn't done comedy in a while and looked pretty nervous, especially when the crowd isnt too big but something tells us he would have otherwise be more appreciated in a different room on a different day with a little more stage time under his belt. Hopefully he will be back.

Liam was meant to be the last one, but one of the audience members (John-no surname given) who was here on a trip from Belfast to see some mates fancied having a go and he told us a story about his mum getting cancer and him losing weight. It was really dark but there was honesty in that bit and a lot of nicely put punchlines that helped make it not as uncomfortable to watch as you imagine. 

Then again you can say anything in an non standard accent and it will just sound better. (Ask George!)


That's it. Everyone had a good time and we were happy to provide a platform for comedians (and in this case an audience member) to have a go at it and the audience were more than happy to sit back and watch things unfold, anything can happen at the Dog and Parrot and anything does happen.

See you next week!

Jumper Confusion, Gingers and Beans. Long Live Comedy 26th March!

Johnny Pelham kicked the night off with a brief education about onesies followed by a genius bit of material where he thought his jumper was inside out, but in fact wasn't.

Adam Hastings took to experimenting with wall leaning and interrogating the crowd about whether they thought Shearer was 'class' or not.

This happened.

Graham Oakes, the MC for the evening, struck up conversation with some late comers in the second section, one of which claimed to be called Mona Nicknaff, or something along those lines. Apparently she is the face of Gosforth Academy and can be seen on the side of buses, so there you go.

Andrea Whitaker began the second section helping the audience discover their ginger genes and was followed by fellow ginger John Hopkins. In what was now the "ginger" section of the show, John told jokes about, amongst others things, being ginger.

Olly lennard raised the energy in the room for the end of the section with his movie trailers, one of which was randomly created by an audience member and cast Arnold Schwarzenegger as Jesus.

Matt Tucker took to the stage and performed an unforgettable set. So unforgettable I thought, that I deemed it unnecessary to take any notes about it. Basically, you had to be there. Oh wait, yes, he did a bit about porn, it's all coming back to me now. I'll try this again.

Matt Tucker took to the stage and enlightened the audience to the trials of watching too much porn. He did other stuff as well.

Closing the night was Fernando who brought a truly unique ending to the night. Highlights include the question about clouds and the bit with the beans. Again, you really had to be there. So if you weren't there, make sure you don't miss out again and come along.

This happens (not precisely like this) every Tuesday at the Dog and Parrot.

'Fury' from 'Strange' audience 'Turner'd out for the best.

Last night saw another good turn out at Long Live, with the fan club of the evening there to see LLC first timer Ashleigh Davison. Graham Oakes as the MC got the audience smiling but not quite laughing freely before John Scott came to the stage to try out some new material. It became clear quite quickly that the audience were either afraid to laugh or in fact saving their laughter for their friend, either way, as John pointed out; "a noise outside got a bigger laugh than the man on stage" and closed his set telling the audience to never return.

Laughing by the end. 

George Zach was up next, having to reassure the audience at one point that his next joke was indeed going to be funny, having tested it many times before. They laughed, so there was still hope for the night yet.

Graham was back for the second section, spending an above average length of time trying to loosen the crowd up. After his attempts in the first section to bring laughs from a man who couldn't grow facial hair in one area, he found greater success discovering the working relationships of the crowd. Having now laughed a number of times, Andy Fury came to the stage to a warmer audience, bringing many laughs while also discovering where his material on the Great North Run peaked. Up next was Jake Donaldson from Leeds who, despite offending the once timid crowd with a quip about the Sports Direct Arena, managed to keep the laughs going. Closing the section was Tim Strange, who revealed his secret for men to look like they work out, without actually working out.

The joke competition started the third section. The themes for the joke were 'the pope' and 'teapot'. After a number of jokes about tea bagging, the joke that won might have actually been the least clever:

"Here's a difference between the pope and a tea pot. They're spelt differently"

That joke won a bottle of wine.

The penultimate act was Sean Turner, who teased the audience with impressions and then told them he wasn't going to do them. He then did his impressions.

Closing the night was Ashleigh Davison, who brought along her observations of Sunderland and a whole host of words and and facts about herself that her mum (who was in the audience) had never heard before.

Wrestling Lessons, First Gigs and Sketch Confusion. Long Live Comedy 26th February 2013.

It's often said that anything goes at Long Live Comedy, and last night was no exception. The MC for the evening was Graham Oakes and he got the night off to a comfortable start, discovering that three quarters of the audience were there to support one act and that some of the audience might not be completely switched on upstairs.

With 8 acts on the bill things kicked off straight away, with Nick Cranston getting the night off to a great start including a joke that could possibly be good about 'that man off of Knight Rider'. Next up was newcomer Michael Holford talking about his longing for 'red choppers', followed by Long Live regular Paul Gerard with his unique blend of brand new material to close the first section.

Graham got the second section going by revealing the future of the Fine art students in the room as well as analysing the seemingly invisible beard of a man. Lee Kyle then came to the stage prepare to do jokes, and then preceded to do none. The experience that followed, well, you really had to be there. He began by teaching two of the audience a new way to clap, noticed one of them looks like the wrestler Jack Swagger (he did, I Googled him) and preceded to teach the Jack Swagger lookalike how to do do Jack Swaggers finishing move on the female audience member he had on stage. He finished by trying to convince said lady to break up with her boyfriend and go off with her newly trained wrestling friend.

George Zach closed the second section and finished with a particularly crowd pleasing joke involving how fat he is and percentages. The vast number of mathematics students in the audience were loving it.

The final section kicked off with a comedy theatre/sketch group called Alphabetti Spagetti. To say the room was not prepared for what followed would be an understatement. It can be awkward when a single comedian performs to a room in silence, but at least that comedian can address it. Imagine 3 people who can't deviate from their script performing to a room in silence. Yes, it was something to behold.

Next up was the man everyone (or nearly everyone) had come to see; Keiran Pulleyne. He had a successful gig with this being his first performance. It will be interesting to see how his material develops when he isn't performing in front of people he knows.

Finishing the night off we had Marc Smethurst, who did an excellent job of holding the rooms attention with his herb related woes.

We are going to do our best to update this blog with the events of the evening from now on. So keep checking back and we'll see you next Tuesday!