Tues 5th Feb, Money

The big news is PETE WENT AND HAVED A BABY!

So welcome to the world young George Thompson. Everyones best regards to the Thompson fambly.

OUR SHOW THIS WEEK...
Feb 5th - Money

Long Live Comedy introduced:
Martin McAllister,
Jim Park,
Mikey J,
David Larkins,
James Christopher
John Scott
and
Chris Ramsey

Feb 12th - Dreams

Al Dawes introduced:
John Scott,
Gareth Johnson,
Edward Patrick,
Arne Gahmig
Joby

Tues 22nd Jan, WEATHER

With regular hosts Al, Callum and Pete.

Because of no internet, new job and a real baby, we fell behind with updates. Just to keep up, in the last two weeks we had:

Jan 22nd - Weather
Al Dawes introducing:
Christian Steel, who was a scary ranty man, but camp with it
Alex Ryden, bought along a posh man called bertie, and talked about bernard, from bernard's watch
Lee Teah, sang a tribute to james (rhymingslang) blunt's you're beautiful
Carlos, who was less weird than normal
Don Barr, who nearly broke his guitar
Gareth Urwin, who was cheeky and chatty
Callum Cramb who I've seen before. Terribly funny fellow.

Jan 29th - Locals
Al Dawes and Pete "seen a baby come out of his wife's clacker" Thompson introduced: Carl Hutchinson, who got angry at strange drunken ladies from Redcar
Rex Purnell, who was sad to see the ladies from Redcar leave
Chris Martin, who is still somehow 8 years old inside
Sean Mcloughlin, would rather he just wasn't here
Paul Gerrard, who has a friend that does voodoo - very funny gagsmith
and Greg?

What to say about Greg? ? Well, there were pretty girls in the room who nearly punched him. And he knows a girl who isn't very good looking, who most likely has self esteem issues, and deals with them the old fashioned way. I don't think he does much to allay those issues to be honest.

CAN I HAVE A GO?
If you've always wanted to try your hand, or you've done a few gigs and want more stage time - just pick a date and drop us a line. Send an e-mail.

Psychology, Tues 15th Jan

OUR SHOW THIS WEEK...
Jan 15th - Psychology
With John Scott, Chris Ramsey, Chris Martin, Tom Roche, Beth Anderson, Sarah Speak, Danny Jackson and Robbie Hearst

Al Dawes opened the show with a bit of a concern that he's the only guy in the north east that didn't get a wii. He was wrong.
Chris Martin had some new ideas, and memories of childhood. And being rude at train ticket inspectors
Chris Ramsey had a few ideas to try, but in Chris' normal way, he mostly enjoyed telling the audience they weren't as cool as him.
Tom Roche finished the first section with tales of scaring off motorway drivers. He's a high energy, slightly scary performer, who is a little too old to still be throwing his weight around like that.
Callum Cramb looked after the middle section with his scary alter-ego. I imagine we will see more of the freak that lives in callums head in the future.
The middle section consisted of the frankly scary Sarah Speak - singing and dancing and frightening me. Danny Jackson explained his recovery from being a serial rapist, and Beth Anderson was trying to be cool, but then failed because she was scared of turning into Pauline Fowler.
Pete Thompson looked after the final section, including Robbie Hearst, who likes that the schools secretary is called Ed Balls (fnurr, fnurr) and finally John Scott, with tales of holidays and prunes. Once again, a pleasure to have such high quality acts topping and tailing the night.

And this week's competition...
What does our Rorschach picture remind you of?

It came down to two options - Bat sex, or a sneeze. And the sneeze won.

18th DEC. COVERS NIGHT.

It's was an end of term party and our last show before the hols, And the celebs were out in force! Al Murray; Morrisey; Peter cook and Dudley Moore; Bobcat Golthwaite; Larry David... well us pretending to be them in bad wigs.

TUES 11th DECEMBER - ROBOT

Pete Thompson was compere this week, and cobbled some rubbish together after being told he was running the night alone with 20 minutes notice.
Paul Gerrard started the show with his usual assault of top one-liners.



We saw Alex Ryden at Cool Fun in Durham (it is both cool and fun, and it's over a chip shop) Alex tries to inject excitment into his life by trying to start up programmes on the computer after he's pressed shut down.



Mikey J was up next- it was only his 3rd gig, but he came with his own film crew. A popular act (well the first 2 rows were his mates-thanks for coming guys- saved us from another december wash-out.) but he deserved the laughs, an impressive start from the white Gok Wan - how to look lanky naked.



Next up were pirate chat who've been doing their podcasts for a while but were stepping infront of real people for the first time. A Vic and Bob style question and answer session, it was charming and surreal- it's a long time since an act brought a bottle of Liam Neason's tears on stage.



To wrap up the night Gareth Johnson did a modern folk song on Gordon Brown, and then we had the delights of Nolbert Stump. This week introducing us to a trick involving his pet ferret. It didn't end well for the ferret.

TUE 4TH DECEMBER - YORKSHIRE.

OUR SHOW THIS WEEK...
4th December - Yorkshire
Eee by gum. Ekee Thump. On Ilkley Moor bar tat. etc.

The Yorkshire Invasion this week (with a cheeky scot in for good measure)
James Christopher welcomed us to the evening, and we kicked off with:

Tom Walker, who talked at great lenght about how he looks a bit gay, and then at even greater length about dirty, dirty pornography. He was followed by Lee Chamberlain, who also talked about dirty porn.
Following on from that, we had Richard Scully, who had some good tightly written material, some of it was about dirty porn. It was somewhere during this that three old ladies who looked a bit lost, left the room.

Section two saw the four yorkshiremen sketch beautifully re-created. 'I remember my first gig, it were down t'pit.' 'You were lucky!' very nice work it was too.

We also enjoyed the work of Kate Fox, who talked about Jism, Sam Gore, who talked about porn, and John Scott, who mercifully didn't mention porn at all. Though he did try to get into the spirit of things by scribbling a swastika on his notepad.

Finally, the night closed with Al Dawes forgetting it was his turn to go on stage, and Dan Bland giving us a lovely turn. He barely mentioned porn at all.

TUE. 27th NOV - WILD ANIMALS.

A small crowd this week, which was a shame as 3 of our acts had come all the way from Bonnie Scotland. Lizzie Moran, Chris Forbes and Jason Arnstein came a long way to play to 10 people. Still, everyone settled down with a lovely 'there's not many of us but we're bloody well going to enjoy it' attitude, and the night turned out to be a good 'un.


Also appearing (but not travelling so far were) Tony Basnett, Gareth Johnson, and Robbie Hearst.

TUES. 20TH NOVEMBER. Fashion

With Carl Hutchinson who was wondering why the student population of Jesmond wear sandals and scarves - are they cold or hot? A memorable performance from Ross Nolan (Cal actually says that on our voice recorder- but then couldn't remember anything except the fact he was good.) Dickie Gardner moaned about bad lyrics, and explained the English language (I don't know- I was at the back I couldn't hear.) Chris Ramsey returned from New York after winning the Galaxy Radio Comp, and he'd seen the most casual example of peeing in the street- the Guy didn't even stop walking. Adam Tempest "stormed it again!" - we let him review himself this week but he's not far off. And Joby finished the night off.

Sorry it's a crap review. We were drunk. We loved the acts - just couldn't remember what they'd said afterwards.

TUES 6TH NOV. - SIMPLE PLEASURES

This week we discussed those simple pleasures that can bring so much joy. Al is a fan of the 'crisp fart' -that waft of flavour that first explodes from a bag of Walkers. Pete's takes a simple pleasure in scratching his athletes foot, so much so that he never has the heart to complete the course of treatment and finally get rid of it.

It was Dave Dynamite's birthday, and what better way to celebrate than entertaining 30 people above a pub for no money. He's not buitter though, and put on a brilliant preformance as always.




The one-man freakshow that is Nolbert stump was back, looking frankly terrifying and ending his set by sawing a violin in half. It's a good thing the physical actor behind it all (Joe Hope) has used his power to make us laugh. If he decided to play it seriously Stump could scare the bejesus out of you.

Sean McLoughlin is one of the little flowers we've seen bloom in the LLC nursery. He's just about ripe now with a storming set including a humbling meeting with God 'Sean, I was pissed when I made you.'

TUE. 30th October - Halloween

A small crowd, but then half the acts didn't show up either. But Gareth Johnson, Arthur Fernshuttle, and Simon Gunnell all put in a great performance that deserved a bigger crowd. Gareth had made an effort, dressed in a crisp white linen suit - makes a change from all these scruffy times getting on stage in jeans. He used a clever pavlovian technique to guarantee a good reception, by conditioning us to cheer whenever he didn't need his notes and threw a page away. Audience regular Barry was back as his alter ego Arthur Fernshuttle, Gatesheads premiere upholsterer. He's already been signed up for our chilli gig- there's a big future for this young man. Finally, a great LLC debut for Simon Gunnel on the horrors of School reunions and wanting to relive his life to the theme from Top Gun.

And as it was Halloween, Hairy Grey Booze Ghost made an appearance too.

Tues 23rd Oct - Dreams

This week we're lucky - a surprise visit from Dan Willis to start the show, and even his mum (slightly worse for the drink) in the audience didn't put him off. He noticed that the Dog and Parrot is one of the few places that don't now have advertising in the toilets. Well, we don't have paper in the toilets either, or doors.
Lee Chamberlain was up next. He's got a lot in common with Jesus. Jesus was a fisherman- he likes scampi. Sian Bevan stopped off during her tour which takes stand up comedy to kids. It's the same set, just with a few careful substitutions - so the story sbout her promiscuous friend who's never had an STI becomes the one about the girl who plays loads of tennis, but has never twisted her ankle. Tony Basnett was back fir his second gig ever and is coming along nicely (another comedy flower sprining up in the LLC nursery) He'd been happy slapped and couldn't understand why anyone would do it- if you go to all that bother, why not take the wallet as well?Finally Joby was back - the young tyke is still having problems with the ladies, but makes up by taking self-love to almost professional levels. What a w^&%$£@!

Lee and Joby Pictured.

OCTOBER 16TH - HEALTH.

Some of this week's stars- Tom, Harry, Don and James.

OUR SHOW THIS WEEK...

The theme was health, so the competition was Doctor, doctor...

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains. Pull yourself together.
Doctor, doctor, I fell like a twisted aeroplane. Straighten up and fly right.
Doctor, doctor, I feel compelled to sprinkle herbs on the carpet. Stop wasting my thyme.

The winner was: Doctor, doctor, can I get an appointment? Some time this year?

On the bill this week - Don Moses, with some magical dexterity, and topical stuff - apparently Middlesbrough is the worst place in the country to live. They invented the parmo for god's sakes!
James Christopher chatted about his life and trials of being a comedian, and basked in the reflected glory off having a grandmother who got locked in a toilet for 12 hours.
Tom Walker apparently looks a bit gay. And was liberal with his use of the word 'finger-bang'. There was a touch of the Graham Nortons about him.
Big man Harry Charisma was a trifle upset at the casual use of language, 'all the time' is only 3 syllables, so why are people saying '24/7'?
We finished with a man called Paulo, from somewhere in south america, who was trying to fit in by singing a song about how the british clearly loved their trousers.

OCT. 9TH - Manners.

OUR WEEKLY SHOW THIS WEEK...
9th October - Manners
LLC introduce: Dee Custace, Don Moses, Adam Tempest, Carlos, Robbie Hearst, Chris Martin and Sean McLaughlin.

25TH SEP. -HELP! AND 2ND OCT. - SARCASM.

25th September - Help!
Chris Ramsey back from his long Summer hols introduced Kate Fox with her charming poetry, comedy and pink flying V ukelele. James Harris, of shameless films, who is often seen with his sketch partner, was back to do his solo stand up set - explaining why George Bush refers to his countrymen as pubic wigs. Steffen Peddie made a welcome return with an extended set, and a new rockabilly look.

2nd October - Sarcasm
After Steff last week, another local pro. returned to try out a longer set, so you lucky people were treated to 30 minutes in the company of Sarah Millican. Also appearing (as far as I know, I was actually off with flu) were Tom Roche, Graham Lee and Dickie Gardner.

18TH SEP- Fish.

Some of this week's acts- Gav, Danny, Sarah, Carl and Robbie.


Gavin Webster, a northeast comedy legend, was down to start the night off. Some brilliant stuff and he even brought his guitar for a musical tribute to Midlesborough.

Danny Jackson was back, with the embrassing truth abut having an aging punk for a dad. It livens up car trips- 'I am an antichrist!.... What 'am I Karen?'

Sarah Speak, comedy gold, or worrying psychological problem? She doesn't trust people in case they're being operated by borrowers who've tunnelled into the brain.

Liam MacLeod-pronounced 'm'cloud' spent some time talking about his embarrassingly wimpy name... we all thought it's pretty cool, he's named after highlander for god's sake.

Carl Hutchinson reminded us that there's always a sob story on x factor. It's not enough to sing, you have to sing and have a relative in a coma.

Robbie Hurst, some good gags and a big slice of good old bill hicks style ranting.

And to finish John Scott, trying out a few new ideas, as usual better than most people's A1 stuff. So some promising newbies but the night topped and tailed by the big guns of Northeast comedy, not bad for £2.

The theme was fish and the competition was fishy song book...

Sitting on Haddock of the Bay.
Somewhere over the rainbow trout.
And the winner... Shaduppa your plaice.

4th, 11th September.

A more detailed review may follow nce we pull our finger out, in the meantime, here's who was on...

4th- Richard Coughlan, James Christopher, Flash, Sean Turner and Danny Case.

11th- Tony Basnett, Paul Gerrard, Mark Allen, Paul Smith, Neil Davis and Ric Wharton.

14th, 21st, 28th August.

We've just returned from a busy Edinburgh festival, so the reviews of the last few weeks have been a bit rushed. However, for the record here's what happened...

14th August - Pagans
Paul Schmitz, Carl Huthinson, Beth Anderson, Sean McLaughlin and others... a good night to see us off, also included Pete's Edinburgh preview- That 'Ladies' song with glorious new backing track.

21st August - TBA
Carl Hutchinson took a break from Edinburgh himself to come and do our show for us- what a trooper! With John Scott, Ric Wharton, Flash, Sean Turner, and Martin Irving.

28th August - TBA
The LLC triumphantly returned from Edinburgh to introduce: Lee Teah, Dickie Gardner, Carlos and Dave Dynamite... It looked like it might be another quiet night, but at 5 to 9 the reinforcements arrived. Despite the rain, the football and the fact it was the day after a bank holiday, the crowd came out and we had a lovely night.

7TH AUGUST Climate Change.

With James Christopher, John Scott, Don Barr, GING and Joby.

James Christopher was up with some new material and his Marks and Sparks soup, with it's lid sticker which has the power to dictate his emotional state for a whole season. Luckily it uses it's power for good, saying 'Enjoy Summer'. Al Dawes appeared as an act, celebrating new love and bemoaning climate change - those killer catapillars aren't as bad as 'The Sun' made out. Ging was back, he's 19 next week and still hasn't written any material- still oddly compelling, though. Don Barr had a cracking gig! Back with his guitar to update nursery rhymes, and with his I-pod to select the best music for a funeral. Joby came by to explain why he went ginger by accident. Finally, pro comic John Scott came in to hone some new material and treat us to some polished stuff too. John can tell you exactly why a terrorist attack on Scotland is doomed to fail- Even the romans stopped at Scotland!

31st July - Summer Holidays

The LLC regulars in The Winston Churchill Story, Flash, Sean Turner, Jamie Rothwell, Steff Peddie, also appearing were Chris Ramsey and Paul Gerrard.


Sean turner started us off with with a set which included his invention- 'the imortality box'- a converted plant pot on the head, based on the theory that no one has ever died with a plant pot on their head. Up next was the magical Flash, with his version of 'Play your Cards Right.' He did the same act last year, but he's improved it no end- he can actually do a Brucie accent now. Paul Gerrard was back with another flotilla of killa one liners. (You can use that quote on your posters, Paul.)

Then Pete, Cal and Al took over the middle section to tell the story of Churchill, as hilarious as it was informative, this ended with stand up sets from Hitler, Stalin and the great man himself.

Chris Ramsey took to the stage so his film crew (yes, he really had a film crew.) could capture his best bits, Chris is making a video to show all the New York promoters when he's there for the comedy festival. (yes, he really is going to the NY comedy festival.) Jamie Rothwell was back for his second appearance with a very smooth set. He's the guy who has to investigate our insurance claims, naturally he gets a lot of tall tales. 'Some charvas off the estate broke in, my collection of faberge eggs was completely ruined.' Finally Steff Peddie (off of the telly) made a welcome return and closed the night in fine style.

24TH JULY- CELEBRITY.

The best show in ages! A big crowd, spurring on all the acts to greater things, it made for an unforgetable night!

Wih Ian Fox -previewing his Edinburgh show, ' One Man Defective Story', Dikie Gardener, Ric Wharton, John Scott and Adam Tempest.


Also appearing, Danny Jackson.

Ian Fox started us off with a sneeky peek at his new show for the Edinburgh festival, 'One man defective story'. The defective man in question is Ian himself, an alternative title could be 'What's wrong with me?'- a question Ian is asked a bit too often. So the show is an investigation into himself, asking various witnesses and sniffing out clues to see what is wrong with Ian fox.

After Ian, who went on first to get used to warming up cold crowds, we were back with the usual LLC fare. The quirky world of uber-nerd Adam tempest. The boistrous joviality of Dicky Gardner (this week wondering why Mr. T was wasted on advertisng Snickers- Surely the airline B.A. have missed a trick.) Pete Thompson finished the first section with a song urging us to count out blessings - at least were never eaten by dangerous animals, which was a rousing end to a great section.

Ric wharton, is going from strength to strength and developing into a surprisingly dark, but very funny act. This week he was both behind the times and cutting edge, getting poy and Simo Weston into the same joke. Danny Jackson made his debut with a very entertaining 5 minutes, on the new trend of Face Book 'it's social pokemon, gotta cAtch them all!' Finally a long missed John Scott was back, with a bumper holiday special and tales of his Roman holiday. John even picked up a smattering of Italian, which sounds quite sophisticated until you work out it's the health warning from his fag packets.