LongLiveComedy@ the dog and parrot 3rd of November 2009
A fairly busy night for November saw George Zach back for his debut Emc gig, “bare with me if I’m a bit shit” he said and it’s true that he started off slow, but before long he was spouting about the parallels between artificial insemination and date rape, classic Zach territory. If you heckle him can you do it slowly and don’t expect him to know who Terry Pratchet is he’s Greek you know.
So onto the acts of the night, kicking us off tonight was the excellent Dan Willis and even though there were only two women in the crowd, neither single, it didn’t stop him having a try! Dan even managed to find some positives in the men’s toilet which is no mean feat! And he doesn’t mind admitting that he loves his mother.
Next up was James Christopher, a veteran of the open mic scene he really made an effort to look the part, suited and booted. Self proclaimed Proclaimers/Dr Who crossbreed that certainly doesn’t like the daily mail and is envious of his gran who has been on TV simply for being locked into a toilet for a night and apparently there’s nothing worse than an IT illiterate paedophile.
After the break was Michael Shields who is truly dedicated to his art and will not pass up the opportunity of water on stage when he needs to wash his hair! He doesn’t understand the job market; we think he’s not alone there. Next up was Matt (didn’t catch his surname), doing his first ever gig, he isn’t shy apparently he’s just lazy. He stated the pitfalls of being ‘polite’ and being a Newcastle United fan, but not a Mike Ashley fan. He shares R Kelly’s optimism on human flight and apparently has a very long ‘extra’ leg.
Up after the final break was Harry Bentley only his 2nd gig but already showing signs of a bright future even if he goes to Teesside University . He definitely suited the pirate look, even if he was bitten by Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen as a child. He has a competitive dad who like most men gets bored when shopping and insists we all add him to Facebook. Watch out for this one!
Closing the night was Dickie Gardner who thinks no matter what you think of Josef Fritzl at least he doesn’t charge board and rent. Dickie doesn’t get women, I don’t think anyone does and apparently McDonalds in Grainger Street is where to see a real life re-enactment of the Jeremy Kyle show. He ended the night with a touching is somewhat disturbing coming of age comedy song about childhood experience. It was a great night and for everyone’s information, that’s not soap on the sinks in the toilet they are toilet mints, the joke it seems is very much on us.
