Nov. 28th. Family.

Carl Hutchinson and Mark Stevens (infront of our new sign.)

This week the theme was largely ignored, though Al (thanks to his break up) now has no in-laws to worry about and is looking forward to a simplified Christmas. Don Moses was back, and had some great moments but also saw the danger of topical material - not everyone else bothers to read the newspapers. Rick Wharton stepped in to fill the gaps left by a couple of cancellations, and got his biggest laugh with a nice heckle put down- 'Nice hat, you look like a 5 foot 6 condom' A newbie 'Ging' came to the stage looking every inch the performer, but lost it - he had great stage presence, and looked convincing, but for some reason didn't do any of his planned material and just waffled a bit. It really isn't as easy as it looks. But learn the material and try again soon, Ging. Callum was back on stage for the first time in a few weeks and had a stock of new material, including his new idea for excercise videos. He introduced Carl Hutchinson, who is probably the most promising new talent we've seen this year, still a bit rough around the edges but a natural performer and some refreshingly good 'have you ever noticed..' lines (just when we though they'd all been done). Peter (me) had nowt this week- I admit it, so just did the competition- the prize was a bottle of Heinz, which I thought would be funny but the winner was obviously disappointed. Last we had Mark Stevens (see, we got your name right at last) giving a great deadpan performance.

21st Nov. Space.

Finally- some pictures! Donnachda O Connail; Paul Gerrard; Pete demonstrates being hit by a phaser set to 'hit oneself in the balls with a pool cue'; Rick Wharton and Leroy.

Another great night! We hit 'em with the big guns first this time (Bash!) pro comic John Scott (No picture, as we can only post 5 and John doesn't need the publicity-see below if you must gaze on his Spanish/Celtic good looks.), followed by (Zap!) Student comedian of the year Donnachda O Connail. Both were trying out new material and treating us to some gems from their back catalogues. John (who's Spanish good looks often mean he's mistaken for the dancer.) had some more modern inconveniences which 'fair boil his pish' while Donnachda was back to exercise his 'conceptual humour' -he doesn't tell jokes he thinks about them.

Al compered this section and had his new flatmates in the audience, so had to drop his material about breaking in to his own house, throwing up and getting half way through making fried liver before passing out. (Hello if you're reading this guys- he's actually lovely.)

Pete introduced the next section and (eventually) the new, space themed material paid off with some nice stuff on the names of star wars characters.(Darths Maul, sideous, grevious- what's next? Darth Naughty?) The first act was magician Don Moses (see last week.) returning to try new stuff for his new comedy bow-string. Topics this week included the idiocy of water aerobics- surely there's a more beneficial exercise you could be doing in a SWIMMING pool. LLC regular Paul Gerrard was back with another set of finely crafted one-liners. He had new material based around the local pub, there are so many fights that... I'm not going to spoil the punchline, come and see him instead.

The competition, which we admit was knicked from an Eddie Izzard routine, was new settings for phasers- why is it always kill or stun? Al read 'em and Pete (as an enraged Klingon) acted 'em. Alternatives for Kirk suggested by the LLC crowd included; ice cream van nearby; orgasm; need for minstrels (the chocolates not the medieval wandering singers); the squits; tourettes and need for minstrels (the medieval wandering singers not the chocolate.) The surprise winner was 'ginger' which saw a bemused Pete briefly stop his charge to say 'Ooh, I'm ginger.'

The last section saw Rick Wharton, back again to stretch his developing funny muscles. He discussed the dangers of blokes straying into the world of hair salons, when we know we should stick to barbers. And we ended with Leroy- a camp ray of Rotheram sunshine. He and his possy had driven up for the day and he entertained us with tales of a Yorkshire version of 'Prison Break' and Rotherham's most famous sons- the chuckle brothers. (Don't knock them, 17 series.) A great end to a great night.

14th Nov, Cheese.

Some Cheese yesterday, Katharyne Harrnacker and Don Moses. No Photos from the night as, though the batteries were charged this time, I forgot how to turn the flash on.


A good show, and the numbers again were respectable. A couple of cancellations and no Callum meant we all had a bit of breathing space. Al took the first section (as he happens to work in a cheese factory)had the most to say on this weeks topic. -It really is churned by waterfall, and though they don't have oompa-loompas, there are some people working there who are small with strange coloured hair and orange skin.

First up was Don Moses, a professional magician who's now trying his hand at the funnies. His stage experience made for a confident performance and the material is already pretty good... pondering Alan Shearer's £102,000-a-week payroll he wondered how the negotiations worked '100 grand, that's an insult...'

Pete popped up with some new stuff for the middle section, he seemed disappointed with Don Moses, he was hoping he was a character act, a biblical gangster - hey pharoh, what part of let my people go do you not understand.

Next up, Katharyne Harrnacker gave us a short set, including her ex-with the rubber fetish. Batman. Tom Roche visited us for his second time, and despite constantly trying new material, still got the crowd completely with him. An emerging talent, and he drives all the way from birmingham just to come to our gig. He must like us.

Carl Hutchinson closed for us, exploring the hell that is daytime TV ads, and his joy at student life. Apparently the problem is you drink so much in the week, you find yourself sat in the house on a weekend watching x-factor!!

The cheese based competition was 'cheesy film club' with some cracking answers. The hunt for red leicester, the churninator, cheeses christ superstar. Great stuff.

7th November - Myths and legends.

Arrrrg! I've just done this once and the deleted it all by mistake! So it might be short- I'm not writing that out again. Above are pics of some performers; guest compere James Christopher, Vladamir Mc Tavish (Actally in the guise of Bob Doolally), Don Barr and Belly Rub. Apologies to the newer performers but the camera proved to be out of batteries.

We were back up to a respectable audience number this week, largely due to an influx from Newcastle college, coming to support 3 acts from that excellent establishment. Al went up first and thought he detected a cultured accent among the rabble, 'Are you posh?' he asked, 'What's posh?' queried the crowd member, 'Do you know what SPAM tastes like?'

Al introduced the fabulous belly Rub, whose sketches cover all of life's problems, from discipling children while repecting their right to freedom of expression, to securing enough jazz for one's daily needs. Don Barr had noticed that even the road signs express the legendary hardness of the geordie, having seen this on the A1- 'pedestrians in road, slow to 50.' (Presumably if you hit a geordie at 60, he might spill his pint- and then you're in trouble.)

Guest compere James Christopher had more advice he'd noticed at the sea-side, 'Dont drink and drown' - emblazoned on a beer mat. (Apparently swimming is OK, just don't drown - if this approach works motorists will soon be advised 'Don't drink and crash.') He brought on Jenny Armstrong with a repeat of last week's act (what the hell- no one saw it last week.) she'd even re-drawn the duck so it was big enough for those at the back to see. Another Newcastle colleger was Jez Scharf, a presentable young man with a nice suit, a glorious head of hair and some charming self-depricating material - he disguised his need to check his notes with the line, 'Before I tell a joke I always like to look at a piece of paper.'

Running out of time, Pete dashed through the competition. (Very poor standard this week- the questions will now be on this site in advance so the swots among you can come up with some decent ones.) Pete (sod it-me.) introduced Ross Nelson and Vladamir McTavish, but as he (me) was thinking about what he (I) was going to say, he (I) forgot to make any notes. I do remember that Ross was the only one to mention the theme- though his 'legendary' event was stretching the term a bit, and that he did a fine debut set. And Vladamir will be familiar to you all after his 2 recent festival appearances. It's a real shot in the arm for us when pros like him stop by to try out new stuff and generally show us how it's done. Hats off, Sir.

If anyone actually reads this please do leave a comment to remind us it's worth the bother. You don't have to sign in or anything. (Chegg on Myspace!)

Halloween.

The show falling on Halloween gave us a great theme, that people might actually remember, and would be a great excuse for people to come out and have some spooky fun. And they did - to themed discos, bars and speed-dating nights. Just not to see us. We've been pretty full for the last 6 weeks but these mysterious lulls still happen. Perhaps people have noticed that when it's really quiet we don't charge- so the forty people who want to come have agreed to come 4 at a time to avoid paying the £2.

But it was a good night. As it was unlikely the 'audience' would be in a frenzy the 3 hosts decided to bite the bullet and go on first. So all the bits of tat that Cal, Al and Pete use to hold the show together were out of the way quickly. Cal picked some choice stories from the metro, including the burglars who blew themselves up while stealing a boiler. Al confessed to mutilating cats and Pete lamented the shoddy quality of (penny for the) guys.

Then came the acts. Another storming set of rants delivered in the charming Essex burr of Dave Dinamite, he will be headlining soon and is one to watch. Gina savage, who has some of the dry, world weary wit of the lamented Linda Smith was up next, and even showed us her inventions - talking tampons, anyone? Jenny Armstrong made her LLC debut with an illustrated lecture, including a beautifully painted explanation of why ducks lose all dignity while eating. Nolbert Stum returned as the Stumpenstein monster, complete with grotesque song and dance numbers.(Check out Nolberts own site- there's a link in the 13th June review.) In the second spooky encounter of the night we discovered the grey cloth that always covers the competition prize is infact a g..g..g..ghost, and while aching the show he's developed a crush on Al(ison). Ending the show was Jeffers (aka Les Paul Marshall) as himself for a change, he'd told us the infamous Les Paul is a character - and his own stand up was wholesome and politically correct, and for the first 40 seconds we believed him.

I'm pretty sure I forgot someone, as I lost the few notes I made, but hopefully one of the other lads will see this and edit it before anyone sees it. Preffessionalism- that's the LLC watchword.